What would your commander say if he saw you like that?

Author: Deke

This story occurred with class 86-04 at Vance AFB when I was a FAIP. The class was getting ready for cross-country, and the High pressure was in the center of the country. Going South, East or West was limited so about six jets were staying in the center of the country and planning a rendezvous at Scott AFB for a Friday night. While Scott was not the first choice for a good time, we felt that we could take over the bar and have a good time. The 25th SQ/CC was H Flight guest help, so we were planning a good time within reason. As many of you already know, Scott AFB O’Club is laid out similar to Randolph’s. There is a “high-threat” bar upstairs with everyone in blues, lots of rank and no tolerance for zipper-suited pilots. The downstairs bar was a little livelier, very few folks in blues, most in Fatigues/BDUs and some flight suits. After some bar food and beer, we invaded the pool table area, configured the table for Crud and started a fun time. It took very little time before everyone’s flight suit was zipped half-way down, scarves were tied around your cranium, and beer was flowing. Even the SQ/CC had his name tag upside down, scarf around his head and leading the charge. By that time the IP’s had donned their copy of the SQ/CC’s nametag and were feeling pretty much bullet proof. As we progressed through another game of crud, I was eliminated and sent to the bar for an obligatory round. As I hit an open place at the bar I was engaged by an O-6, fully dressed in his blues and not sporting a smiling face. He looked at me as I ordered a round of beers and said, “Lt, what would your commander say if he saw you like that?” Before I could answer he started: “You are a disgrace to the uniform, your commission and to the service”. About that time, my Sq/CC rolled up on the other side and shouted “Deke, what is taking so long with beer? As I collected the beer the O-6 said again: “what would your commander say?” As I pulled away with the beer I said sir, why don’t you ask him for yourself, he is right here! He looked at my commander, shook his head, muttered some 4 letter words and hung his head. We returned to the crud table with our beer and continued. Sadly, I’d be involved in a similar situation at the Holloman O’Club about 15 years later when a retiree would take offense to a similar situation and it would be handled with a LOR. The Air Force had changed!